End of All
by lark lavroc
Summary: How strong are your emotions? At what point do you just have to let go, even if it meant losing your heart? SasuNaru.


Disclaimer: I own nothing of Naruto and etc, etc. No profit yadda, yadda, yadda. To simplify even more: Me poor. Yup. So no suing. 

_Author's Note:_ Well, looks like I'll be wallowing in the Naruto fandom for a little while longer. Not beta-ed this time since Moe is being pestered by those annoying mid semester tests; however, I've self edited so hopefully no glaring mistakes. I'll semi dedicate this to Moe, who needs some cheering, but um, probably won't get it from here. Hee. 

Thanks for the reviews for my other Naruto fic. Not sure whether cute' was what I was aiming for, but nonetheless, glad my somewhat experimental writing style was enjoyable to read. Also, I'm glad that I managed to convey my idea across and for someone to sort of think 'oh hey...that kinda makes sense.' What greater compliment is there? 

* * *

Pain in his right leg, his left arm, and he winced as he shifted his ribs. Not exactly the best shape to go home in, Naruto thought grudgingly as he trudged along, but there was no helping for it. Tsunade had been extremely busy with the massive increase in clients and Naruto didn't want to disturb her with his less than serious injuries. And it wasn't like he was dying or anything, though Sasuke would be typically annoyed at the inconvenience. He would call Naruto an idiot for standing in the way of those stupid kunais all the while gently bandaging his arm and ribs. His fingers never held the sting of his words and afterwards, when Sasuke finally stopped calling him an idiot, Naruto would get caressed softly on his cheek and then kissed fondly. Nobody could convey sensual but annoyed quite as well as Sasuke could, but then, Naruto hadn't really been with anybody else other than Sasuke either so that didn't count for much. Or it counted for a lot. Naruto didn't really care. He and Sasuke had been together for as long as he could recall. What went before that Naruto didn't want to remember; it just wasn't worth it.

He quietly ignored his aches, opting to turn his thoughts inwards while keeping his slightly cold blue eyes on his surroundings. Whose idea was it anyway to live so far away from the bustling village centre? Oh right, it was Sasuke's. He had been very insistent on it too, allowing for no compromises no matter how much Naruto whined and pleaded and cajoled. Instead he replied firmly that somehow isolation among large trees and wild animals was better for security than being cooped up in the midst of several hundreds of shinobi, and Naruto softly agreed when he saw the veiled fear in dark, dark eyes. How could he not? He would have done anything for Sasuke, and he really didn't mind. So he and Sasuke prodded home at varying fast or slow speeds depending on how injured they were after their missions. Sasuke bore the brunt of the wounds since he was Anbu and hunted strong rogues, but Naruto had his share too.

The sun had settled away, Naruto noticed, and night had come, leaving him to roam in the dark mist. Chilled, Naruto wrapped arms around himself and lowered his head, straining for warmth that was so difficult to come by these days. He didn't allow himself to think anymore because eventually all paths led to the same heart wrenching conclusion and he was just sick of being cold. 

The sight of his house perked him up a bit and he quickened his steps, wanting to be enclosed in familiar spaces. Sometimes his need for it stunned him in its strength, but usually he didn't think about it, preferring happier memories and much happier times. They made him smile, laugh, and then they made him cry, but only when he was alone of course. He didn't want others to think he was going crazy like they had first worried about. 

Naruto unlocked the door and went in, turning the lights on straight away. He looked around, slightly lost because Sasuke wasn't there yet, but he should have been, and why wasn't he there? Shaking his head and rubbing his temple painfully, Naruto went to the bathroom and got out the medicinal ointments and bandages from their large box of supplies. He went to the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs, and proceeded to take care of his injuries. Not for the first time, and never will it be the last, Naruto wished Sasuke was there, lightly wrapping white bandages on torn skin and giving Naruto's injuries that frightening intensity that only Sasuke could provide; even if he ended up being lectured and somehow, in Sasuke's own way, lovingly called an idiot. He actually missed being called an idiot, a moron, and to think he had tried so hard to get Sasuke to stop years ago. 

But it wasn't to be helped, and as much as Naruto wanted Sasuke's comforting presence, he couldn't make Sasuke turn up when he was busy. He decided then that he should make ramen for himself and leave some for Sasuke when he got back. Anbu missions took a lot of energy to complete and when Sasuke came back, he was usually as tired as hell and as cranky as a bastard. Though that never stopped Naruto from pushing him onto the couch and snuggling in, arms and legs wrapped around Sasuke's body tightly and face pressed against Sasuke's neck. Sasuke would then complain half-heartedly about being Naruto's damn teddy bear and Naruto would agree cheerfully before nuzzling in soft, Sasuke-scented skin and curling himself around an already yielding form. Sasuke would then make irritated noises but he would lean against Naruto anyway and stroke along his back with cold but already warming hands. Neither would be willing to move, no matter how many word-sounds Sasuke made to that effect, and they would end up staying there until the next afternoon. Not morning though because Naruto was never a morning person and Sasuke liked to spend his mornings watching Naruto sleep, though he never admitted it.

Naruto smiled and went to the kitchen to prepare something even he couldn't mess up. Ramen, his one and only specialty, Sasuke had told him before forbidding him to enter the kitchen for anything other than that. He didn't want the place to burn down, and even after Naruto had protested his innocence because really, it wasn't his fault his old apartment had turned to ashes, Sasuke just crossed his arms and stared at Naruto evenly and uncompromisingly. What Sasuke said went, and Naruto would follow after a moment of habitual protest because even though he had long since been Sasuke's, he didn't have to act it right? The kitchen was the same as it always was, but Naruto felt sad. He shouldn't though. He really shouldn't because didn't Sasuke like finding things the same way he left them? That blue cup on the second to last shelf, those knives and forks in the left drawers, their spare weapons hidden in the bottom cupboards. All this and more Naruto made sure of after he finished cooking and eating. He washed the dirty dishes in silence and put away leftovers in the fridge before going to the bathroom for a quick shower. 

It stung just like he thought it would, but it wasn't bad. Not when compared with other deeper pains that would never go away, and Naruto didn't really want to think about that right now. Naruto went to their bedroom, a nice cosy space that felt more like Sasuke than any other room in their house and was, unsurprisingly, his favourite place. It was neat too, because Sasuke would always exasperatedly pick up Naruto's messy leavings and basically told him as he was doing so that it was easy to spot where Naruto was; all he had to do was follow the trail of disorderly chaos strewn about. Naruto would just grin back and leap onto Sasuke, teasing him about being such a housewife and before Sasuke could retaliate, smartly kiss him in an opened-mouth, wet kiss that lasted for hours and hours and hours. Lazy afternoons, hazy mornings and just about any time they had was pretty much spent like that. Naruto was happy. He was content. 

Naruto slipped onto the silky bed sheets and under Sasuke-scented blankets while his smile trembled, slipping away like it always did and his eyes closed. Tears leaked at the edges, and Naruto buried his face onto Sasuke's pillow, trying to keep Sasuke's familiar and much needed scent all around him; trying to prove to himself that Sasuke was there because it smelled of him, and if he wasn't there then it wouldn't smell like him right? But the scent was already fading, its owner not being present to renew it daily like he once had, and Naruto ignored it like he always did and would forever attempt to do, instead clinging to his desperate logic and waiting for the time when he couldn't drive reality away any longer. 

Tears flowed freely now as sobs shook Naruto's body. He clutched at the pillow, curling himself as tight as he could around it as he remembered a different situation, a different form in his arms. He remembered hearing the dull thump, thump, thumps as he pressed his cheek against Sasuke's chest, and then the coldness of Sasuke's blood-smeared white skin when they had brought his lifeless body back, and he had tried so hard to listen to Sasuke's heart again, so hard, because Sasuke wasn't dead. He couldn't be. Couldn't be. He wasn't. He was supposed to be with Naruto. 

He cried now, as he did then, in hopeless despair and desperate, unforgiving love, but Sasuke never came back. Not even when Naruto told him to. Not even when Naruto tried to warm his cold, cold body, and promised to stop being annoying and loud, to clean up his own messes and to not be an idiot anymore. That's what Sasuke wanted right? Please? 

It didn't work. 

None of it brought him back; no large amount of despaired pleading, aching promises whispered fiercely with all of Naruto's soul, and then finally, violent but sobbed yelling could. 

Naruto still waited though, hoping so very badly, day after endless day ending in hauntingly lonely nights. Because he was a stubborn, stupid moron like Sasuke always said. Because Sasuke was an arrogant bastard, who readily admitted it years ago when he told Naruto to shut up before shutting him up with a clumsy kiss. 

Because they belonged together in every way.

So Naruto waited. 

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Edited to fix up a glaring mistake (sigh) but on the positive side, thanks for the feedback. I guess Sasuke/Naruto just hit all my angst buttons, though I have no idea why. However, I will try to see if I can do a happy SasuNaru fic. Lol. And you're not pathetic, Kari. The dictionary is always our friend. ^^; 


End file.
